The day I almost bought a digital camera

I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. But then most people feel that way about themselves. And most salesmen know it , too.

Joseph's birthday is coming up soon, and I wanted to get him something REALLY COOL. Not just a movie or a t-shirt, as is the usual birthday fare. Money is fairly tight most of the time, but I figured with our tax return coming soon, I could afford to splurge a little, especially for the 'Big Three- 0h'. Yes my husband will officially be a grown up this week.
So a few weekends ago, we were wandering around Wal-Mart. (Please disregard any previous blog regarding the evils of said superstore). Joseph took Elora to the toy section -more for his own amusment than for hers I'm sure- while I looked around for a suitable token of my love. There they were. Along the most well-traveled isle of the store were displayed the shiny new digital cameras. Small, large, silver, plastic, cheapish, and wildly expensive.
Now, I must admit I was initially drawn to the assortment of technological toys for my own selfish interest. Hey, we have a baby now. How else can we keep everyone up to date on her latest new hair growth or cute outfit? I couldn't help but think how useful such a device would have been on my previous blog about her pink bear suit.
"I would have recieved way more comments with such a cute picture to anchor my blog post," I thought whistfully.
Suddenly, a kindly looking grandpa salesman was leaning over the counter, watching my anxious dance back and forth in front of the cameras. (Anxious because of the many choices, not because I had to use the restroom.) Had he been a younger gentleman, or young lady, I may have been better at brushing him off, but the nice grandpa man got my attention with his twinkling eyes and grey moustache.
He asked what features I wanted. I told him it would be a gift for my husband but I didn't know if I should get a camera he'd be happy with or one that I would appreciate too. The salesman in him heard what I wasn't saying: "I think I know about cameras but I probably don't really, so you should try to sell me a more expensive choice. I'm an easy target."
Its true I took photography and was the darkroom operator at SUU, but our class had very little to do with the digital realm, and what little I knew of technical terms has already been leaking out of my memory bit by bit. Nevertheless, I kept up my knowledgable facade and smiled at the grandpa man.
Of course he advised me to get the better camera that I would be happy with myself, and he proceeded to show me why camera A was better than camera B, though camera C was also very popular. I pointed to the SLR film camera, and said, "I have a camera like that. It cost $400 when I bought it in 1997." See. I'm smart. My camera is expensive, so I must know a lot about photography.
The camera man smiled indulgently, and said he had one too. He told me the digital version of one of those cost around $900 or more. No thanks.
So even though I wasn't even sure I wanted to buy one, I felt really bad when the old man had been talking to me for about twenty minutes. So I chose one. I was buying a camera. But wait! That one is the only one thats out of stock! You can choose a cheaper one thats not nearly as good, or the next grade up that is probably out of your budget.
I was already nervous about the whole thing, but now I was feeling distressed. They don't have the one I deliberated over so carefully? He could tell I didn't really know anything, my intelligent facade had been broken! Quick, pick another one! You don't want to waste any more of his time!
(This was the side of me talking that doesn't want to annoy people... Don't waste their time, don't get in anyone's way at the grocery store, take your baby out of the room if she coughs too loud. When I start listening to this inner voice, it drives Joseph nuts, because now it applies to him too. I have to consciously restrain myself from moving him out of other peoples' way at the store. Anyway.)
So I picked out the slightly cheaper model that wasn't that great. He removed it from the case, and I asked if I really needed a memory card. Oh yes, that is essential. So he showed me which one I needed and he held that for me too. What about batteries? Oh, regular batteries aren't good at all, and these Lithium batteries won't last more than a few weeks. You want a battery charger.
I pointed at one of the batteries on display. "Thats the kind my camera uses." See grandpa man, I wasn't lying about owning a fancy camera!
Again, he smiled indulgently, as if amused by the babbling of one of his many grandchildren. "Yes, my camera uses those too."
So I had him show me the battery charger, and he removed it from the hook for me. I saw the many products now cradled in his arms, and I was worried. Did I even have that much money? Just then, I heard the voice that would save me.
"Waaaaaa! Wahahaha!"
"Tearese! Tearese, she's been crying for like twenty minutes. She wanted the toys I was showing her and when I took them away she cried really hard and spit up all over the floor in the toy section!"
There was Joseph, holding a tired baby and a very soiled burp cloth. He handed her to me and took off, not wanting to see whatever it was that I was buying for him..though I'm sure he did.
The salesman asked how old she was and commented on her cuteness, trying to reel me in again by appealing to my motherly pride. But it was too late. The spell had been broken, and now I had an excuse not to stay and purchase the wares of this wiley salesman.
"Um... you know, I think I might try back in a few weeks to see if you have that other camera in stock again. I'm reaaally sorry for wasting your time."
I bounced the baby in an obvious way, so he'd know it wasn't personal, and wouldn't go home and tell his wife about the annoying redhead he helped today.
"Oh, don't worry about it, its my job," he said. "It's just that much sooner that I get to go home."And now he had to put all that stuff away for me. Poor grandpa man.
As Joseph and I walked out into the dark parking lot that evening, I explained what had happened, and confessed he probably wouldn't get such a thing for his birthday this year.
But it really all turned out for the best because we needed the money for an unexpected bill.
I bet the salesman still went home and told his wife about me.

A week in the life of...

I’ve been doing some self-analyzing the last little while, and have come to a sad conclusion: I’ve become quite boring in my ‘old age’! My sister and others have encouraged me to update this blog, but I really can’t think of anything interesting I could write about. I haven’t gone on any romantic getaways with my husband, nor have I even been to the beach just a few miles away, due to the crummy weather. So what could I write about?

(me and my hubby in the Northwest)

I thought about writing on Elora’s cute Whiney the Poo outfit she got for Christmas. Its pink and fuzzy, and the hood has ears on it. We took her for a walk in it today, and motorists were smiling and waving at her. The only downsize was the pink fuzzies all over mine and Joseph’s clothes. But that’s not an interesting story, especially to people without kids, so I won’t mention it.

I could write on the interesting article I read yesterday, about Westerners’ misconceptions on the nature of Christianity. We often assume it is divided between Protestants and Catholics, when really, its about Western/Roman Catholic beginnings vs. Orthodox or Eastern Christians. In the article, an Egyptian Christian said he was tired of Westerners asking if his family was converted by English, French, or Germans. His family had been Christians since the first century AD, and were actually converted by Mark of the New Testament, over a millennia before most Europeans were Christian at all. But that has nothing to do with anything, so I can’t write about that either.

I thought about discussing that cool program I watched on PBS about Fractals, and perfect equations. They were showing how everything in nature could be created by a fractal equation, and they created an image of a tree before my very eyes. It was very exciting. Similarly, I could mention the Golden Mein, which is a theory taught in math, art, interior design, and countless other disciplines. (Joseph was learning about it in his math class yesterday). This concerns the idea that everything can be broken down into perfect thirds (or something like that), and there are natural examples from seashells to seeds, to even the human body. And while its all very scientific, I think it’s a blatant example of how God created everything with great care and logic. But, I couldn’t really write a whole blog about that stuff, because I'm not good at math. So never mind.

I haven’t done much professional art lately to speak of either. But I read a cool thing about a mural in Red Deer, Alberta Canada. Its in front of an art gallery, and was made to look like a real window with paintings inside. Not just any paintings, but famous pieces by such artists as Hopper, Sargent, Degas, and Cassat. Then brilliantly, the artist created tromp l’oeil windows above it (meaning they looked real) And another ‘store front’ window next door. Warnser probably would have appreciated a blog about that. But, I couldn’t find the accompanying picture online, just other works by the same artist. So theres no way that blog could get written.

(by artist Michael J. Downs)

So I guess tonight I will end up going to my Young Women’s activity (I am one of the leaders) and I won’t write a blog at all. There’s really nothing I can write about. Do you have any ideas, those of you with more exciting lives?