26 Weeks

One of the things that's kind of fun about pregnancy is that it's one of the few times that it's socially acceptable to take multiple pictures of yourself without seeming too narcissistic. I know some people don't like to see pictures of themselves, and I usually hate pictures of me taken by other people, but I actually have fun composing them.
The other day, I brought my camera to church so Joseph and I could take a few pictures after everyone left. There is a window with a white curtain that lets in soft lovely light, and I always look at it and think it would make a great place for a photo- all of our curtains at home are patterned or partially blocked by furniture and other objects.
As usual, I got more than I needed, and it's hard to pick a favorite. Also, the light is perfect for a black and white conversion, but I specifically wore a light colored yellow dress for the pictures. I don't know, I'll probably print all of them then be annoyed at myself for printing so many of the "same thing".
First we did some underexposed photos, which I love. The last one is the one I used on facebook:

Then there are some at proper exposure, which show the face more. They have their own ethereal beauty, but aren't as dramatic:

And there were a few that were over exposed; this was the coolest one. I really like it, but doubt it would print like it looks here:

 At one point, Joseph was teasing that he was going to be in the picture so I told him to go ahead, and we actually got one or two fun shots- I might even hang one on the wall. I like the black and white of these, Joseph likes the color.

 So, black and white or color? Over or under exposed? which do you like best?

If you weren't aware...

9 weeks

16 weeks



















20 weeks

 
can't wait to meet our new little girl at the end of December!

Baby Boy!

For those who haven't heard yet, yes we are having another boy!

We got to go into town where my appointment is the night before , as there was a big snow storm which might have prevented our driving there the next morning. The kids found this very exciting! Well, except when Jonah cried for an hour at bedtime because he wanted us to leave the light on in the hotel room. At least we got to order a pizza and bread sticks (an impossibility where we live) and had the continental breakfast provided the next morning.

After breakfast we went to the ultrasound appointment. I was afraid they'd get upset at us because the paperwork I'd received clearly stated that only one person could come with me. I was kind of glad for the snow the night before, so if anyone questioned me I'd have a good excuse for having everyone there! Thankfully, no one said anything.

Elora had a great time viewing the ultrasound readings as the technician pointed out body parts, the baby's position and other things. Before the end Elora was an expert at pointing out all the baby details herself, much better than many adults! She didn't seem too upset about it being a boy either, maybe because she'd been disappointed last time and had steeled herself against the possibility this time?

Joshua and Jonah weren't quite as thrilled and were ready to go long before it was over. Neither of them got unruly, they were just a little restless, and every thirty seconds Josh would ask, "Can we go now?"

They took tons of pictures of the baby, which of course look just like the sonograms we got of our other kids, for the most part. In this one you can see the lens of their left eye, and their heart:




In this one he might be sucking his thumb:




And here is a nice profile that looks just like Elora's ultrasound profile:



They also did several 3-D pictures. These are always a little weird. If the baby is moving, it might look like it's face is smeared or something. Sometimes if the depths of the scan are off you might see shapes like their brain is showing or a limb has no flesh on it.
These ones aren't too bad; this first one is odd because it looks like the baby doesn't have a nose yet, even though at this stage it should look like a normal baby with hardly any body fat. Maybe the cartilage wasn't scanning well or something? Also see the bony arm and brainy-looking head? Hello alien.



Here is a profile; I think he was moving his hands when it was taken, so it looks like there are a few extra fingers. And his head is falling apart.



So...right now we still like the names Jude and Eli, though we're leaning toward Eli. Joseph thinks it'd be reeeaallly funny to give them a middle name starting with G, just so their initials would spell "Egg". HILARIOUS. (Read with sarcasm).

Actually, my grandpa's name is Gary, which I could use, so that might actually be a possibility. I know tons of people are scandalized when kids' initials spell something, but really it doesn't concern me unless its a swear word or especially derogatory. Because really, how often do you tell people your middle name?

Confessions of Pregnancy

When I am pregnant, I become incredibly ornery with my children. Every little thing irritates me to a ridiculous degree, and when I go to bed at night I can't for the life of me think of why I was so mad that day. I always vow to be extra loving and kind the next day, but somehow something always happens to break this promise to myself.

Pregnancy is usually the first time I can get really angry at whomever is the current baby . Up till then, anything they do seems innocent and excusable. But now with the notion that they will soon be a big brother or sister, suddenly any naughty thing they do seems obviously deliberate on their part. This is when I also start to get less touchy-feely with the youngest child. Probably this has a lot to do with certain areas of the body now being more sensitive, and other areas now being inhabited by a small being I want to protect. But the youngest child- who may be accustomed to mommy holding them often- now encounters a mommy who is constantly trying to get them off of her lap, and pushing them over to daddy.

Again, at the end of the day I feel guilty and sad about pushing them away, but the next day it happens all over again. And I always think, "Well, maybe they won't be as jealous of the new one if they've already been dethroned before they arrive," thinking of course about all the baby-spacing info I learned in psychology classes.

I become easily stressed out, and when there are too many things going on that cause me stress, I am known to break down. Of course, for me breaking down means screaming a lot before I actually cry about something.

I also find I am irritated at strangers much more easily. Any comment anyone makes to me about my pregnancy seems offensive, no matter how innocent they meant it to be. I start feeling defensive before people talk to me, as if I am just daring them to say something to set me off. That I can blame it on hormones hardly seems a good excuse, considering how many pregnant women I've known who never seem to have an angry moment in their lives.

For many women, pregnancy brings on a deluge of strange dreams, and I am no different. I have the usual dreams involving the baby itself- birthing the baby, seeing inside my own uterus, forgetting where I put the new baby, or otherwise- but I also have an embarrassing quantity of dreams that involve people I previously have had crushes on, including the occasional movie character. Thankfully, my unconscious mind usually reminds me that I'm now married, so nothing inappropriate happens, but it's still strange the regularity with which these dreams occur, everytime I'm expecting!

The only six-weeks post-partum checkup I ever went to was with my first child, Elora. I only went because I had a c-section and I had heard horror stories about people's stitches coming apart or them hemmoraging or something, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay. With the other two..it just didn't happen. After Josh, I put off setting the appointment for too long. We moved when he was just six weeks old, and when I called two weeks earlier to set up the appointment, the snotty receptionist told me I should have called earlier because there was no way I could get in in that time frame. Fine.

And after Jonah, I felt fine, and my doctor had told me she was going to do a pap smear at that appointment, because she didn't do one at the first of the pregnancy. I really don't do well with those kind of exams, even after three pregnancies. So, I kind of never called. And never saw my doctor again. I hope she didn't feel bad, or think I was mad because she didn't deliver my baby. Just like my doctor for my first two pregnancies, she was gone when I went into labor, and I had to deliver with someone I'd never met before. Whatever.

Oh yeah, I went to my first appointment this last week. We got to do an early ultrasound and discovered I was almost 13 weeks, putting the new due date on August 28th. The baby looked like it was waving at the camera, it was so cute!