Po-Pee McGee and the Baby Salt Mines: Part Two

Note: to read part one, see previous post or click here.

Whomever this ethereal stranger was, Po-pea had a feeling that he meant no harm.

After several babies had trudged by on their way to the mess tent, the stranger gently whispered, “I am here to take you back to your mother and father…and your sister.”

Po-pee gasped. “I have a family? A sister?!”

There was a hint of a memory.. a little girl hovering around and pestering him, but he had just assumed he was raised by fairies or some such annoying creature.

The man chuckled at Joshua’s surprise. “Yes, you have a sister who is alive and well. Unfortunately, Don Jimmy has lured her away too. She is now under close surveillance at his Buffalo Chip factory in the frozen north.”

The man rummaged under his cloak for a moment then set a tattered photograph on the salty earth next to Po-pee.

So this was his sister?He leaned forward with great interest. Yes, she did bear a striking resemblance to that obnoxious fairy he had though a figment of his imagination.

Most of the babies and guards had moved out of earshot by this time, so the mysterious man edged closer to Poe-pee, kneeling down behind a salt dune to avoid attention.

“You are perhaps wondering why a stranger would want to help you, Po-pee.”

Po-pee nodded, his eyes wide.

“The first thing you should know,” the man said softly, “is that your name is not Po-pee McGee. That is just what Don Jimmy wants you to believe. Your true name is Joshua. And I am no stranger.” He gently put his hand on Joshua’s slight shoulder.

“I am your mothers brother. You may call me Uncle Thain.” With that the man threw back his hood and Joshua gasped. That smooth head, the warm brown eyes..

“Why, you look just like me!” he gulped in amazement.

“Yes. It’s a very rare condition , but I am in fact your twin uncle. We share a special bond, Joshua, and that is how I was able to find you. But I’m not the only uncle you need to worry about right now. Sadly, you also have another uncle known as Jimmy Cocoa puff. You may know him as……Don Jimmy.

Joshua gasped in horror, and his lip began to quiver. “Nooooo! He’s not my uncle! How could he?! Why would he do this to his own family?"

Thain held his small nephew close and rubbed his head soothingly. "We've been wondering that for years now, Joshua. Perhaps someday we will be able to ask him what made him such a bitter tyrant. But tonight, he happens to be away to his northern stronghold...and tonight you are leaving this place.

"I will need your help, Joshua. You are possessed of many powers you may not now remember. But together, we can rescue your sister and end this once and for all. What do you say?"

Joshua looked up into his twin uncle's eyes, his face full of determination. He nodded.

" Of course."

Po-Pee McGee and the Baby Salt Mines: Part One

note: I am going to try and restrain myself and post this in more than one part, so stay tuned!

Po-pee McGee wearily wiped the sweat off his bare head before retying the blue salt-encrusted bandana around his neck. The sun beating down on his brow was nothing compared to the glare from the surrounding salt flats, and he squinted his eyes against the blinding light.

It seemed like forever that he had worked here in the dreary Baby Salt Mines. He barely remembered the last day of his idyllic former life, though anything before that was a distant blur. That distant afternoon he had been lounging on the beach, enjoying the rhythmic lullaby of the waves washing back and forth along the shore.

He could still recall the strange man that had slunk out of nowhere, offering him all the delicious cereal he could eat, the man with the black cape and the hooded brown eyes. Innocently, he had followed him away, only to learn the hard way that this stranger was the one and only Don Jimmy, the Baron of the Baby Salt Mines.

Now his life was one long waking dream of salt, sun, and sorrow. How long had he been here? One, maybe two weeks? Or were they years? He had given up on ever returning to that hazy existence on the sea shore, the distant life that he was forgetting more and more each day.

At least Don Jimmy’s promise about the cereal had been true: every evening when the work was over, the baby miners were treated to all the cereal they could eat. Small comfort, considering the crushing workload that lay ahead the next day.

Po-pee sighed, and began to clean up for the evening. Suddenly, he heard an unfamiliar voice whisper behind him.

“Don’t move, Po-pee. Let the others go to dinner without you….I’m here to rescue you! Pretend that we are not talking.”

Po-pee kept his head down, but out of the corner of his eye he saw a tall stranger shrouded in a billowing white cloak. This was certainly not another baby! Nor did he think it was one of the harsh task masters of the mines; they always wore the black and red of the house of Don Jimmy. Whoever this ethereal stranger was, Po-pee had a feeling that he meant no harm.

To be continued.....

Story Time

Elora and Isabelle had a secret.

Every day, their mommies put them down for a nap at three o'clock sharp, tucking them in carefully with a kiss and a hug for luck. What their mommies didn't know, was that every day at three o'clock sharp, Elora and Isabelle became Super Babies!

Each afternoon, they would meet together above the clouds, capes flapping in the wind. They had already had endless adventures together, but they were always excited to meet again for another grand escapade.


But today was different. When Isabelle saw Elora flying into view, she was surpised to see that her cousin had brought someone along this time. He too had a cloak, bright orange, and Elora was holding his hand as if helping him fly for the first time.

"Isabelle," Elora said proudly, " I'd like you to meet my brother, Joshua! Turns out, he's a super baby too!"

Isabelle waved at her new cousin. She'd heard all about him from Elora, of course, but this was the first time they'd met in person.


"Wow, Joshua, I didn't know you were super too... this is great! You're going to love playing with Elora and I. With no parents around, we can do anything we want!"

Joshua grinned bashfully. "Hi Isabelle." he giggled and flew in a little circle.

Elora turned to Isabelle. "I thought maybe we could teach him the ropes today. You know, show him what being a super baby is all about." she took a sip from her super sippy cup then tucked it back into her cape.

"Oh sure," replied Isabelle. "Lets see, what should we do first? I know, how 'bout we take him to our hang out?"

"Thats a great idea!" exclaimed Elora, clapping her hands in delight. "You lead the way!"
With that, Isabelle shot straight up into the sky, rapidly disappearing from view.

"C'mon Joshie, we better catch up or we'll never hear the end of it." Elora grabbed Joshua's hand and raced after Isabelle.

Soon they had left blue skies and fluffy clouds behind as they were surrounded by the black void of space. Distant galaxies twinkled just at the edge of view, and a barren red orb soon loomed ahead. Joshua was staring around in awe.

"Wow, this is amazing!" he gasped.

"Yeah, we like it." laughed Elora. "What do you think? We like to come here every once in a while when we need somewhere to chat. The only problem is that it gets way too cold!" Elora had already pulled on a light jacket and she wrapped herself with her billowing purple cloak as she spoke.

Isabelle started to tug her cloak around herself as well. "Brrr," she shivered. "I'm not wearing my warm jammies today. And look at poor Joshua! Maybe we better go somewhere warmer."

"Yeah, you're probably right." agreed Elora. "Lets go down by grandma's house, its plenty warm down there. Lets go Joshua...oh, watch out for stray asteroids."

Joshua blinked and looked at the red planet once again. He'd have to remember this place!
The three cousins whooshed back to the blue and green expanse spread below them, skimming through the damp clouds until the orange-red rocks of southern Utah were visible below.



"So, what else to we super babies do besides fly around?" wondered Joshua aloud, as he sat down on an outcropping of sandstone.

"Oh lots of stuff!" replied the two girls together.

"But first, you have to find your super power." Added Isabelle.

"Do you have a super power?" asked Joshua in surprise.

"Sure do! Watch."

Without warning, Isabelle suddenly emitted an ear piercing shriek, causing a few minor boulders to bounce down the surrounding cliffs, as Elora and Joshua cringed and covered their ears .

When Joshua dared to remove his hands and look at Isabelle again, he was surprised to see that two small furry animals had lept into her waiting arms. They seemed somewhat shaken, and were shivering with fright.

"I love that trick!" laughed Elora.

Isabelle smile proudly. "I can summon the animals, " she explained. "See!" She held forth the quivering critters and shook them a little to emphasize her point.

"Whoa, thats...great?" Joshua said uncertainly.

"Oh, thats nothing," said Elora. Wait till you see what I can do." She took a few sips from her cup then knit her brows in concentration. Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, the red rock around them was disappearing, being replaced by a lush green forest. Joshua looked around the dappled glen in confusion as Isabelle knelt and released her animals into the thick underbrush.


"So, what did you just do?" asked Joshua as he reached out to feel the moss covered tree nearest him.

"I used my imagination, what else! I just happen to have a SUPER imagination. Pretty good, huh!" Elora patted the tree next to her and took another swig from her cup.

"Well baby brother. Now that you've seen what we can do, what can you show us?" Elora looked at Joshua expectantly.

"What do you mean?" asked Joshua.

"You know, your Super Baby power. What is it?" asked Isabelle impatiently.

"Oh. Um. Well, I can make a pretty stinky diaper. Oh, and I can spit up pretty good." Joshua put his hands on his hips proudly.

Elora and Isabelle exchanged sidelong glances and giggled.

"Hmm, maybe we'll save your super powers for next time." Elora said, patting him on the back consolingly. "After all, you're still pretty new at this. In the meantime, lets go into town and grab a cup of milk before nap time is over. Did everyone bring their civilian clothes?"

The babies quickly changed, but the two girls couldn't help but laugh when they saw what Joshua had brought.

"What? This was all I could find!" he protested, as he tugged his pants up to try and cover his bare belly.

"Don't worry, " laughed Isabelle. "I brought some extra Mardi Gras beads you can wear. No one will even notice you're a Super Baby."

And with then the three babies headed off to their next great adventure.

Thain's story

I recently made a little story for my brother Thain's birthday. He is on a mission in Slovenia, and will be coming home in May. It probably won't be that funny to people who don't know him, but I thought it might make a good blog. Have fun!

"Thain's birthday dream"

Elder Thain was excited. Today was his 21^st birthday! Not only was he officially a big boy, but in a few months, he would be going home to see his family again. He loved his mission in Europe, but sure missed everyone back in Utah.

He couldn’t wait to get back to the sunny southern Utah summer, to visit all of his favorite national parks.

“I better remember to wear a hat this time!” He reminded himself. But then, he started to wonder….. what if things had changed?

After all, dad DID say Cedar City was going to be an ice burg when he got home. What if it was true?!
“Oh, that’s silly,” Thain told himself. “The snow should be gone by May.” But what if something else were to happen? Like….a horrible lightning storm surrounding his plane on the way home!

Elder Thain shook his head. He knew that wouldn’t happen to a missionary…sheesh! But, what if it wasn’t time for him to be going home? What if his plane crash landed somewhere new, and they made him serve a mission there too? “Hmmm,” thought Thain. “That might not be too bad. There are some interesting places I might end up! Like, Egypt!”

Maybe I could convert a few wise men while I’m there. Or hey, what about Spain? I bet there are some golden opportunities in Barcelona! And I’d probably get a sweet apartment!

“I could end up in some exotic location I’ve never even heard of before!”

Now this was starting to sound exciting to the young Elder. This might be a great opportunity!

“Hey, I could even go to Japan. Maybe my brother Jimmy will be there! Or maybe not.” Thain suddenly remembered his family again.

“I forgot! I have to get home so I can see my nieces!

Sheesh, they’re both so big now, and they don’t even know me yet! And what about my new nephew that is coming?” Thain thought. “If I don’t get home, I won’t get to go visit him and teach him how to be a good missionary. What the heck am I doing! I’m still on my mission!” Thain looked around.

“Oh yeah, I still have work to do!”

And with that, he smiled happily and went about his missionary duties.

Joseph and Patrick Save the Day

The other day, Joseph and Patrick were walking together in the local forest. They were going to meet their wives for a double date that they'd been planning for a long time.
"I am so excited!" said Joseph. " I wore my best suit and tie for this date; its going to be awesome!"
"Yeah, " replied Patrick. "I just got done working in the forge and didn't have time to change, but Kiera will understand. Besides, a t-shirt is maybe a little more appropriate for the forest, don't you think?"
Joseph's smile faltered for a second, but he perked right back up. "We both look great. Now, where were we supposed to meet the girls?"

"They should be here any minute," shrugged Patrick. Just then, he noticed a piece of tattered parchment beneath Joseph's shoe. "Hey, what have you got there?" he asked.
Joseph picked up the dirty scrap of paper and spied some barely legible writing on it.

"Hmmm. Kind of hard to make out...." Joseph squinted. "It looks like it says, 'A carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a stick of butter.' Hey, wait a minute!!" Joseph was suddenly panicked. "I think this was Tearese's shopping list! She must have had it with her when she and Kiera met each other earlier. She would never leave this lying around...they must have been kidnapped!"
Joseph swiftly pulled his suit coat off and threw his tie aside. Come on, we've got to find them!
When he turned to Patrick, something had changed. Patrick's hands had claws! "Wha..whats going on?"asked Joseph.

Patrick growled. "Well, I suppose you were going to find out sooner or later. I'm a mutant. Whenever I sense danger, my claws come out. I also have metal on my bones because of a freak metalworking accident, but thats another story. Sorry you had to find out this way, but we have no time to waste! Lets go!"
Patrick was surprised to note that Joseph didn't seem at all phased by his revelation. In fact, Joseph had a goofy smile on his face.
"Well, since your secrets out, I suppose I can let loose too. Patrick, I too have a secret identity." and with that, Joseph whipped off his shirt and revealed a red and yellow 'S', emblazoned on a spiffy blue suit.
"I'm not exactly a mutant, but I have my own super powers, if you know what I mean."


"Hey, nice boots! I'll have to get me some of those!" winked Patrick.
Joseph and Patrick realized that they both probably had many mortal enemies, so they decided to brainstorm a minute about who could have taken their wives. They went over all of the big ones.

"What about that numbers guy, the one who thought he was cursed?" asked Joseph. "He was always deceptively kind and passive, but just try to call him names..."
"Na," said Patrick. "Not his style. "What about that little frog guy with something stuck in his throat? He was pretty nasty."
"Well, I heard he met his end in a volcano somewhere," answered Joseph. "Orangutan lips? The Pink Kitty Man? Maybe-"
Just then, there was a great clap of thunder followed by a blinding flash of lightning. The inviting forest was immediately replaced by forboding mist and dark menacing shadows. Joseph and Patrick were instantly on their guard.

"This settles it." said Patrick. "This could only be the work of the Spooky Gunslinger! He's well known for his spreading of evil darkness and Nefarious Poppycock! We must find him and destroy him! Just let me get my claws on his ever-changing hair!"


"Well,"replied Joseph slowly, "I hate to burst your bubble, but didn't Kiera ever tell you that The Gunslinger is her and Tearese's brother?!"
"NOOOO!" Exclaimed Patrick. "How do you know for sure?"
"A year or two ago, I was pacing my fortress of solitude trying to come up with the best way to eliminate this menace to society. I had almost determined how to destroy him, when Tearese came to me, pleading that I leave him alone.


"She promised that he wouldn't trouble us anymore. She even told me his secret identity: Jimmy Sparks, mild mannered college student.
So I promised I would let him be, for her sake." Joseph explained. " And he has never bothered us since. This couldn't be his work, I'm sure of it."
As if on cue, the darkness surrounding the forest quietly lifted. But the two heros sensed they were no longer alone.

Joseph cocked his head to the side. "Shhhhh! My super hearing has picked up footsteps over there. Someone's coming."
"And I'm ready for them," grimaced Patrick, his weapons at the ready.
Neither of our heros was expecting what came bursting through the bushes. There they were, Tearese and Kiera, along with their little girls Isabelle and Elora.
"There you are!" exclaimed Tearese, bouncing Elora on her hip. "Where have you boys been,we could have used your help!"


"Were you kidnapped?! Was it Mr. Orangutan Lips?" exclaimed Joseph. "I found your shopping list that you dropped for me to find! We were so worried."
Tearese laughed. "What? I told you to throw that away last week! You must have put it in your pocket and forgotten about it."
"Well, if you weren't kidnapped," Patrick said slowly, "what was all that darkness and mist earlier?"
Kiera shook her head. "Thats what we needed your help with, guys! The babies got a hold of our wands again and were wreaking havoc with the weather and local wildlife. It took both of us together to distract them with a little song of "Popcorn Popping" so that they would drop the wands. At least now they're tuckered out. I guess thats what you get for marrying Hogwarts graduates. Daughters who take after their mothers!"
Tearese winked at Joseph. "So are we still on for our picnic super-boy? I brought the sandwiches!"
"Oh boy!" cried Joseph. "I've got a 'super' appetite after all of that worry!" He laughed.
Patrick retracted his claws and walked over to his wife and daughter. "I'm feeling pretty hungry myself. Lets have that picnic ladies.

Elora and Isabelle were bored

Note #1: The following babies have never met each other in real life. The described conversation is pure conjecture.
Note#2: I don't have photoshop. I only have that dumb paint program that comes with Windows. This is my excuse for any poor picture quality.

“ I’m bored,” sighed Isabelle Rose as she lay on the living room carpet with her favorite cousin, Elora Mae.

“Me too,” said Elora. I wish there was something exciting to do. Nothing ever happens around here. Its always the same old thing: eat, sleep, cry. I’m tired of it!”

“Remember that time we got buried in the laundry and screamed for three hours?” smiled Isabelle. “ That was so fun! I wish we could do something like that again.”

“Yeah, that was pretty cool,” replied Elora. “ But my favorite day was the time we went exporing the universe! My highchair suddenly turned into a space ship, and you were the best starship fighter this side of Tatooine, and…”

“Wait a minute,” Isabelle interrupted. “That never happened! Besides, if anyone’s highchair were to turn into a spaceship, I think it would be mine. Sheesh!

“Hey, I know something we could do," Isabelle continued. " How about we attack our sock monkeys from grandma Kimber! Remember that time you got yours in a head lock and he couldn’t get away? Your mommy had to come break up the fight because she was so worried you would destroy him for good!” Isabelle chuckled at the memory.

“ That’s true,” agreed Elora. “That might be fun if my mommy hadn’t hidden Mr. Monkey from me for his own protection.”

"Hmmm. That does pose a problem,” muttered Isabelle.

“Well,” Elora said, “we could always go play outside! We could eat grass and spit on bugs all day long. What do you think?”

“ Oh I love spitting on bugs!” shouted Isabelle. “Awww, but my mommy said its too hot to go outside today. Wait a minute…where are our mommies anyway?"Isabelle looked around in sudden confusion and began to cry.“Where’s my mommy!!” she wailed.

“Oh, don’t cry Isabelle!” Elora soothed. “Our mommies are just out fighting evil in the world with their magical mommy powers and…um…magic wands!”

“Really!” laughed Isabelle, her tears forgotten. “ Our mommies are the coolest mommies ever!”

“You got that right,” Elora nodded.

And with that the girls were quite content.

the end

ONCE UPON A TIME

When Joseph and I were dating, we used to cut pictures out of magazines and write stories for each other using those images. I know this is a process with which some of you are very familiar.
Recently he made a silly little story using some photos my sister took at our wedding. So its kind of cheating because technically I didn't write this... but I thought I'd share it anyway.

Once Upon a Time...

Tearese and Joseph sat down one day to eat lunch.

But when Tearese looked in her lunchbox, she was shocked!

“What is THIS in my lunch?” She asked in slight fear, for she had never seen a purple squiggly in a box before!

“Oh,” said Joseph, “It’s probably something yummy for your sandwich.”
So, Tearese put it in her sandwich and began to eat.

But something wasn’t quite right...

Tearese turned to the person across the aisle and said, “I don’t think the purple squiggles are supposed to go in the sandwich.”

And she was right, but Joseph never heard the conversation, so he was happy to eat the squiggles.

Later, Tearese showed off how easily she could make Joseph do whatever she wanted him to do.

“See! He even lets me put his hand on this hot glass in front of the fireplace and he still smiles!”


Tearese’s family looked on at this in amazement. That is, except for Thain.

“That’s nothin’! Wait ‘til you see what Maryanne can make me do!” (Maryanne is Thain's girlfriend.) Thorin, who overheard this took in the whole situation and his brother’s words with a deep sense of awe and fear.

“Will I be like that too?” He wondered.

Meanwhile, Tearese and Joseph took advantage of the distraction and hid so that they could be alone.

“SHH!!!” Tearese whispered, “They’ll never find us here!”

“Do you think we can live forever here in this little bitty forest?” Joseph asked.

“No,” Tearese replied. “If my uncle moves, we’ll be stuck here forever or be tossed out on the streets.”

So Tearese and Joseph took off to Happily Ever After Land, just north of
Never-Never Land, and lived happily ever after.

The End

(it could have been a bit longer, and been more involved but I guess he was doing this at work! Hope you had fun.)