Apparently, I don't like male doctors. My family's doctor growing up was a man. My mom thinks he's great, and my sister (who had severe asthma and other chronic problems) saw him often and felt fine about him too. But the few times I saw him, I found him smarmy and unctuous ...and, well, stupid. He misdiagnosed everything for which I ever saw him .
The next time I even saw a doctor was when I was pregnant. And since I knew an ob/gyn had to do exams down there it was out of the question for me to have a male doctor. I'm not shy about being naked in a professional doctors office, but those kind of things necessitate a woman's touch, in my humble opinion.
When I actually delivered both of my babies, the delivering doctor was a man. I didn't freak out or anything, because, seriously I was in labor. But after the first delivery I felt an extreme dislike toward the doctor. It probably had to do with the unexpected c-section,but I found him to be condescending and obnoxious, both toward myself and my husband. Hmmm.
The second delivery doctor was much nicer, I admit. He wasn't so bad, but undoubtedly I would have felt more secure if my regular MD was the one attending me that day.
Our family doctor in Everett was a young woman not much older than I am, but I felt she was intelligent and respectful of my intelligence in turn. After we moved here to Logan, I didn't even think twice before picking a female doctor off of the list of providers our insurance gave us. She was great! My kids liked her, and I trusted her. Unfortunately, this particular doctor had to go to Texas recently to attend to a family crisis.
In the meantime, the clinic is hiring someone else to take her place. They also have a male doctor who practices there. I met him at our first baby check-up in town. He didn't do anything offensive that I can recall, but I remember not being too impressed by his office manner.
Which leads us to today. Joshua went in for his nine month check-up with said male doctor. First, he got weighed. Our doctors office has an electronic scale, and every time we've gone, the nurses seem to have a hard time using it. Not something that gives me a lot of confidence. This time, the nurse weighed him, then announced, "Okay, 14lbs." She smiled brightly and started to lead us to the examination room. Until I stopped her.
"Um, I don't think thats right. He weighed over 17 lbs last time we were here."
And he weighed almost 10 lbs when he was born. Yeah. I hope he's grown more than that. She obligingly reweighed him, and this time it came out as 19lbs 13 oz. Much better.
While we were waiting for the doctor in the examination room, Elora kept trying to walk out. As she had escaped all the way outside one of the last times we were there, this time the nurse helped her sit up on the table to deter her escape attempts. When the doctor finally joined us, she was still sitting on the table, babbling away about this and that.
He confirmed with me that we were there for a nine month check up, then he proceeded to read the list of stuff about nine-month-olds. See, when you do well-child check ups (for those of you not in the know) its basically to see if your kid is caught up on immunizations, and that they're developing normally. So they bring out this list of stuff that they may or may not be able to do at this age. If your kid can't do some of the stuff, they tell you its normal, and if they can then thats normal too.
I guess its reassuring for parents who aren't sure where their kids should be. Anyway, so he's reading this list, but he kept saying, "She should be able to crawl, and she should be able to eat finger food..."
After a few more of these, I interrupted and said, "He. You mean he." He looked confused for a minute, and I wondered if maybe Joshua's clothes weren't male enough....
But then the doctor said something that renewed my distrust of male doctors. He looked up at Elora, who was still on the table, and said, "Oh, we're not here for her? I thought this was her check up." Are you serious?
"Um no. She's two and a half." Because, you know the little girl who has been talking non-stop since you got in here is nine months old. And just learning to crawl.
Granted, I understand that he could be confused with her sitting on the table and all, but he knew he was reading me stuff about a nine-month old, right? And its not like he didn't know about little kids...he had repeatedly mentioned how his kids were bald just like Joshua. Yeah, do you know how old your kids are too?
So. Long story short: Joshua got his check-up, he's fine. And perhaps I have a general mistrust of all in the medical profession (like those nurses) . The doctor today was friendly enough, but all he did was reinforce my dislike and mistrust of the Doctor Man.
11 comments:
I have never really found a doctor I truly feel comfortable with. The closest I came was with the gynecologist I had just before moving from Utah, but I only saw him a couple times and you can never TRULY be comfortable with a doc when the only reason you see him is so he can poke around in your nether-regions.
My doctor here is nice enough and I'm fine seeing him for a referral to an orthopedist or for a cold. But when I went to get my birth control refilled, uh.... that was awful. I need to find a gyno down here, just so that awkward situation can be a little less weird.
What? That's crazy. I can't believe he didn't know which kid was the patient.
I really like my doctors here, which coincidentally are all female.
This is one reason I like midwives. :) I like the pediatrician that I grew up with. I take my kids there now. But the previous two male pediatricians I had kind of rubbed me the wrong way. At William's first appointment, we had to point out his clubbed feet. Come on, they saw his feet were clubbed on the ultra sound, but he couldn't tell in person!
I had trouble with the first doc I had in Utah. He was like 90 and didn't understand most of the things I asked him about I always had to explain and then, he didn't seem to keep up on things enough to be able to answer my questions.
Now, we go to a doctor that I really like and trust. He's a family doctor who specifically does OB and pediatrics. He's the whole family's doctor. We plan on driving up to see him when we move out of town even!
I hope you find someone you can trust!!
I have a complete prejudice against doctors in general. I think that when they have to buckle down to study and work in medical school...they have to isolate themselves to get a grip on their subject matter. During said isolation...they forget how to be a human being. I have yet to meet a doctor (male or female) with great bedside manners. For my ob/gyn I have gone to a midwife who was just wonderful. Doctors? Not so much!
Wow... I remember how Elora talks too! No way he could have thought she was a 9-month old!
Incidentally, call me weird... but I prefer male doctors as my OB/GYN. My personal experience is that they are much gentler during examinations and so much better about explaining things (instead of assuming that you know what you should be feeling). That's just my personal experience... I'm sure there are many female doctors that are great.
The current OB that I have is a male... and he's great. He was my OB for the last part of my first pregnancy, and then the entire second and third pregnancies... I hope I never move, cause then I'd have to change doctors!
So when it comes to OB's... I guess I'm just the opposite of you with my preferences. :)
(I've yet to find a decent pediatrician).
That guy doesn't sound too bright. I hope you're doctor comes back soon. By the way Joshua looks adorable in that picture! He's starting to look a lot more like Elora. You have the cutest kids!
jill- yeah, that comfortable factor is hard to come by in those situations, good luck finding a match.
jen-yeah, maybe he was distracted or something?
kara - I have a total respect for midwifes, but I've been told I will always have complications with the birthing process, so in that respect I'd rather have a doctor in a hospital.
Kara, that's ridiculous they didn't notice his feet!
Tirzah- I'm glad you have such a good doctor, I hope we'll find one eventually too!
kat- thanks for visiting! That may be true in lots of cases, but like I said, I have had one or two that seemed nice enough.
ailene- thats funny. You like your doctors for the opposite reasons too. I HATE doctors who try to explain things I already know, especially when I tell them I've read about it or know the medical terminology and they insist on dumbing it down anyway.
I hear ya sista! All of our doctors are female...even the dentist. I really don't want to move 'cuz I like my ob/gyn and don't want to find a new one...same with the kids pediatrician...and my regular doctor...and Patrick likes his eye doctor (he gets metal in his eyes on a regular basis)...and I like my regular doctor too. Actually the only doctor I have that I don't like is my allergy/asthma specialist doctor...who is a man. He's the only one in the area so I couldn't choose. I didn't think until now that the reason I don't like him may me a male/female thing though. Funny. SO I guess all of my doctors aren't female, just the ones I have a choice about.
I seem to prefer female doctors as well, although I've had some good male ones. That doctor you saw today didn't sound too reassuring though, mixing up the kids and all. lol I enjoyed your post!
alycia- thanks!
rhea- yeah, hey lets give him the benenfit of the doubt...maybe he was joking?
Kiera- hey sista.
Post a Comment