I hate sitting on the back row.
This goes for the bus, classrooms, you name it. I would rather sit by myself in the seat of my choice (second row is perfect in a classroom) than sit by a whole row-full of friends in the very back. I always found it odd that on bus field trips everyone wanted to sit in the back where it was hot, crowded and noise. I was fine with sitting on the front row and having two or three seats between me and the rest of the students.
One time "Adam" a guy who kind of liked me, convinced me to sit by him in the very back of our summer Psychology class my Junior year in college. About fifteen minutes into the class, I was so annoyed that I couldn't make eye contact with the teacher or stay focused, that I got up in the middle of class and moved to the front. Adam and I never went out...but I think it had more to do with me saying I hated sports and couldn't run around the track even once: he was on the track team and thought I looked like the running type too. (Its okay, I wasn't really interested.)
I have to have a good reason for going to someone's house (or talking on the phone).
I had enough childhood experiences with friends avoiding me because I came over to their house too often, that now I am very cautious about imposing on others. I generally don't go to someone's home unless I've been invited, and the only people I call on the phone regularly are my sister and mom. Even though I had a telemarketing job (actually two) for more than a year, I am still very uncomfortable calling people, especially if I don't have planned out exactly what I will say. Joseph thinks its funny when I make him call people for me, which I do regularly.
I am also very uncomfortable with inviting others to my house.
As a youth I was always a little embarrassed about my house and rarely had people over, while in high school I NEVER invited people over (though I always wished certain people would spontaneously show up..but why would they?) Even now, I am a little antsy when people come over- even good friends- if I don't have exactly planned out what we will do. The idea of just having to sit and talk with no purpose is mortifying to me...though really, it usually turns out fine once they're here. I am NOT into entertaining guests! Poor Joseph, he never gets to invite people over.
These traits combined tend to make me seem aloof or maybe anti-social to those who know me, but really, I am so much better with social situations now than I was ten years ago!
The End
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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11 comments:
I don't much care for entertaining either, and I have to be very specifically invited to someone's house to show up there because I don't want to impose.
i miss that no one just drops over at my house. when i was growing up i loved when my aunts or cousins or my mom's friends came by. i don't know if she did though ;) but everyone figures that i wouldn't want that with 5 kids in the house, same goes for phone calls, only my dad rings me!! ;)
but ya know, i never just drop over anyone else's house, i worry they wouldn't want to see me!!
and i love sitting in the front row!! hate the back...
Yeah me too...for all that stuff. Maybe it's hereditary. ;) Well I never had friends avoid me for going over to their houses too much, but most of my friends either had pets or parents that smoked so I would get sick if I went over too often or for too long.
I'm not a huge fan of people dropping by unless I know them so well and are such good friends them that I'm always pleased to see them. Mostly, though, a heads up (even a few minutes beforehand) is greatly appreciated.
Like you, I'm not into calling people either. I like to have a reason to call - like planning something. That said, with so many of my close friends not in the same town, I tend to talk on the phone more than I used to.
I've never thought of you as anti-social, even when I didn't know you very well. Quiet, maybe, but that's only in comparison to some of the other girls at church (myself included).
I am sort of the opposite. I like it when people drop by; although, I'm rarely home, so that's probably why people don't drop by my house very often.
And I feel overly comfortable dropping by other people's houses. I try to be cognizant of whether people are open to the drop by or not. I think it's better to err on the side of not dropping by than to do so, but I've probably made mistakes in that area at least a few times in the past.
It sounds to me like you are generally considerate of other people, and that's good. I am socially awkward too much, so I could probably learn a little more propriety from you.
hahaha. I can relate. Mainly on the whole people coming over to my house thing. I hate having people over when my house is messy and lets face it, my house is ALWAYS messy. It doesn't matter how much I clean.
I like sitting in the front also. I think the only exception is when I don't like the teacher! Or maybe if my kids are misbehaving...
All the other stuff reminds me of Aaron! He hates going places and having people over. He always wants me to make phone calls for him too. He also had a job answering customer service calls! Ha, ha! I like to get warning before people come over, but actually enjoy having people over as long at the house isn't a mess.
jill-I could see that. But in reading your blog I think (maybe) you're also like me in that you get tired of being home alone too? Of course, I'm not Really home alone, but you know.
ej- thanks for stopping by. My mom was always busy working and friends hardly ever stopped by our house. Maybe that's why its so foreign to me!
kieraanne- our family is totally all the same. Except for Thain and Thorin. They're weird that way. Well, except Thain is shy, just lucky to have friends that came over anyway I guess.
Julie-that's funny because you're such a social person! I'm glad you didn't think I was a jerk in church...;)
cardine- I've always been happy the few times you guys dropped by at my house. I think its just the idea of someone coming over that stresses me out, if they're friends and actually come over, it usually turns out great. I remember when I was home for my sister's wedding, and you guys dropped by and got to meet my relatives. That was fun! And I don't mind dropping by other's homes if I'm with other people, then I don't feel like its me personally imposing ;) You guys were always helpful with that! (Being an entourage, that is.)
kiera- yeah, I think that's part of it for me too. After I posted this, I actually spent a few hours cleaning my house and felt a lot better about it!
kara- I can totally see Aaron being that way. Yes, like I said, once people are here I'm usually grateful they came, its just the thought of it that is intimidating. I guess I used to be shyer than I realize, and some of that is still residual.
I hope I wasn't one of those friends from your childhood who made you feel like you came over too much.
I always like it when people drop by, but I don't like dropping by unannounced. I'll call most everyone (including my mom sometimes) to make sure it's OK if I stop by.
I also hate sitting in the back row - especially in a classroom setting!
missy- hmm no comment. Just kidding. Actually, I do remember being a pest a few times. Like the time you told me you couldn't play and I didn't believe you, so I hid in a snow drift and then followed you when you rode your bike to Danielle's house. Then I knocked on the door and came in. Yeah, I was a dork.
Boy, I hear you about the phone. I HATE to make phone calls and put it off forever. And yes, sometimes I make my husband do it for me!
But, I love company, maybe because we have four lawnswings out front and it's easy to entertain. I don't fix treats and people just drop by. I love it.
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